I skipped work to stalk him.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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