R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
