Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
