Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
