Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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