I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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