The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
