Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
