carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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