I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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