You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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