you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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