I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
