what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
