Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
