someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
