just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just had sex on a roof
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
