no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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