Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize