I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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