Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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