did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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