Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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