the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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