She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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