I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
