Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
