the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
