Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
