so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
