how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just want to make out with him forever
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
