I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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