I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
