Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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