dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
