I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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