I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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