Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
