woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
