even my farts smell like vagina
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
