how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
