Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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