would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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