end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
