if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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