I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
