wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
