Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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