I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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