Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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