No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize