At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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