The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
