I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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