I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
