The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize