I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
