Yo dont text me then not text me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
