he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
