I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
