but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm jealous of your bromance
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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