I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
