He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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