Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
