he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
