I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
